***
The other day I felt her.
Autumn, that is.
(Oh, how I’ve missed her!)
To be honest, I’ve been longing for her return, the way she revives me.
The way she reminds me of what is temporal, and of what endures.
The way she smells.
The way she sounds: leaves rustling-crunching beneath my feet.
The way she conjures up soups and stews.
The way she focuses my attention.
And oh, the memories of autumns-gone-by she brings with her!
(… like the ones when I was a schoolgirl in uniform, walking under a ginkgo tree …)
(… like the one when bodies fell from the sky …)
(… like the one when I couldn’t wait to see him …)
(… like the one that I couldn’t wait to forget …)
Her colors so often astound and take my breath away.
Her touch on my skin invites me to linger longer over tea.
She recalls where I have been, where I am, where I would still like to go.
She remembers who I have been, who I am, who I still hope to be.
I always want her to stay longer than she can.
I always miss her when she goes.
Love,
PS: In case you are wondering: Why “Maria Cristina” instead of “Cristina”?
Maria Cristina is my full, two-part first name.
Practically speaking, it will help to clarify which Redeemer staff member people are referring to. Christina Way, director of administration? Or Maria Cristina Paglinauan, associate for community engagement?
On another level, it speaks to a feminine way of embodying the Holy One, a way that resides within each of us and that, I believe, has been disparaged and disclaimed for too long with death-dealing consequences. It honors Mary alongside Christ.
As some of you know, my husband David Warner and I are now “empty nesters.”
In this new season of life, it feels right to begin inhabiting my full name, and to own and claim both parts together.
You, of course, are still welcome to call me Cristina.
You are also welcome to call me by my full name.
May the return of Autumn bring you closer to embodying the fullness of who you were created to be.