I’ve spoken before of my friend, Gaspar, who sometimes maddeningly tells me, “Honey, it’s time for you to ‘level up,’ when he knows I am hedging about doing something that I should do for my highest good. Well, he has used a new Gee-ism on me recently, and it has been showing up in more than one or two places in my life. That one is, ‘lean in.’
My first encounter with leaning in was when I was, once again, avoiding and repressing something— a feeling it turns out. It was anger and because I had been conditioned to associate anger with not-so-good, bad, and ugly things, I never really recognized it and kept it under wraps. Apparently, we human beings learn to do this really early in life and then wonder why sometimes our later lives are in such disarray! It turns out the emotion of anger is actually a secondary emotion to fear, which is primary and totally acceptable, too.
Anyhow, Gaspar said I needed to feel my anger and not run from it; to lean into it would allow it to shift or be transformed. Failing to lean in and attempting to ignore or cover it up, just made it balloon until it eventually expressed itself in other, totally unsatisfactory ways. I understood. I knew those other unsatisfactory ways, and maybe you have known them, too. Accepting what is first allows us to move into another place of what we may want it to be.
Through the next several weeks after this conversation, the phrase lean in started showing up all over the place. My perception had shifted and now I noticed it more. I always pay attention when I see puzzle pieces like this. I recognize it as one of the ways the Spirit is speaking to me and asking me to listen with my heart.
Most recently, I was reading an article about hearing the words of the Scriptures in a different way by what the author, Brian Morykon of Renovare, calls, “Zooming Out and Leaning In.” In his essay, Zooming out means paying attention to the context within which the words are read, and Leaning in means becoming ONE in Relationship with the Divine Mystery. As Brian says, “We lean in—like John on Jesus at the Last Supper—to hear the heartbeat of God pulsing through the text.”
Anyhow, now that I am becoming more familiar with the phenomenon of leaning in as an acceptable way to be in my life, I have noticed a new peace and acceptance with less fear and reactivity to inevitably changing circumstances. Many of us are old enough and have experienced enough Life to know that expectations of any kind are prime candidates for unexpected outcomes.
Nevertheless, I choose to lean in as a woman of Faith. As our faith tradition teaches us there is a Safety Net or “the Everlasting Arms” underneath us. It is always there and never fails. “G-D, truly is the name of the Blanket we throw over the Mystery to give it shape.” And that Mystery loves us and leans into us no matter what!
Keep Smiling and Leaning In,
Freda Marie+