Shortly after entering the dating scene in June of 2023, I found myself on a date in Harbor East. Nerves and butterflies were in full effect. And then, as we were crossing Eastern Avenue, to go from one place to our next stop, my date asked if he could hold my hand. Surprised at the question and feeling all the feels of excited nervousness, I responded, “Of course!” But then he stopped me and asked a question that I will never forget, “No, is it safe in this neighborhood for us to hold hands?” He went on to describe how there had recently been a wave of hate crimes targeting the queer community in the Brazilian town where he was raised and, being new to Baltimore, he just wasn’t sure how safe we were, being seen together, two men holding hands.
This was a new question, and one that immediately sank to the bottom of my stomach as I was entering this new experience of dating, specifically dating in a world where I just might have to consider whether or not I am safe. It immediately reminded me of the literally hundreds of heartbreaking stories that I have heard from lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer individuals, (young and old) who had shared with me their painful stories of being bullied in school, being traumatized by their parents, being kicked out of church, being asked to leave their youth group, being banned from reading or singing in their church, being mocked and jeered in public, being denied visitation access to their hospitalized spouse. Every one of these stories breaks my heart and all I can seem to do is to cry together with whoever is sharing their trauma.
I believe that Holy One cries too. I believe that when God creates each and every single person, God echoes the first and most repeated judgment in the Scriptures, It is good, so as to say, “WOW– finally, a masterpiece for the world!” And when we as fellow creatures fail to share in God’s admiring of God’s creation, for whatever reason, I believe that God joins in the crying. Imagine pouring yourself into the creation of something new, something beautiful, something you love… and then having that creation discarded, hurt, and rejected, precisely because of how you created it. That must hurt. God must cry.
But God, I believe, does not stop at the hurt. The Spirit of God steps in, light into darkness, love into hate, healing into hurt, and shines forth an abundance of life, maybe even an extra-abundance of life! Whenever a hated or oppressed group of people choose to live their full identity, even and especially when it’s not safe, that group is shining forth the masterpiece of how God created them to be. Animated by Spirit, they are embracing their sacred purpose and they are sharing God’s glory with the world around them. They are also embodying the most powerful act of resistance and defiance possible. By embracing their identity without shame, they say, “In a world that wishes I did not exist, I shine even brighter and will not abandon or forget who I am.” It reminds me of the Psalmist stirring Israel with the words, If I forget you, O Jerusalem, let my right hand whither.
In the queer community there is an expression for when you see someone shining, allowing their truest identity, beauty, talent, and sacredness to radiate: “You better work!” It is, at the same time, one of the greatest compliments and one of the deepest expressions of encouragement that you can offer. It originated with RuPaul encouraging an up-and-coming supermodel in 1993, so as to tell her, this world will hand you nothing; you better put your best foot forward and let your light shine. “You better work!”
This Saturday, we have an opportunity to “work”. We have an opportunity to be Church and let who we are radiate as we celebrate, love, and support ourselves and our brothers and sisters who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer. A group from Redeemer will be joining groups from other Episcopal parishes in our area to take part in Baltimore’s Pride Parade. We are gathering at Emmanuel Church in Mount Vernon (by 11:45 AM, Parade starts at 12:00). I hope that you’ll consider joining us! And if you would feel more at home lining the streets and cheering on those marching, I encourage you to join in the chorus that will be echoing, “You Better Work!” And if you are not able to participate in person on Saturday, please keep this work close in your prayers.
As we all know, the Pride Parade is important. There are still hundreds of teenagers across our country who are convinced that it is better to be dead than to be gay. There are still people and institutions who would prefer that queer people not exist. Like our efforts in BUILD, in supporting our immigrant neighbors, in anti-racism, and in so many other hands-on ministries, participating in the Pride Parade affirms the dignity and beauty of God’s creation. In these efforts, we echo God’s declaration, It is good.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, I grabbed my date’s hand on that June night and told him, “I don’t know if we are safe, but either way, we’re here together.” In a world that is not safe, we might as well stand together. In a world that is not safe, we might as well work!