When I was a little girl, my family hosted two women from the Philippines who were touring the U.S. as part of a choir. They stayed for only a few days, but I grew fond of them very quickly. When it was time to say goodbye, I was heartbroken. I still remember how sad I felt when I walked into the room where they’d stayed in our home, after they had gone. On the dresser sat a tiny, brown kitten figurine left behind for me as a gift, which I kept for many years.
Goodbyes are hard, even and especially when they are indeed good. Good, because what has been shared and experienced together has been good. Good, because the reasons for leaving are good. Good, because we have been changed for the better, having been in each other’s lives traveling side-by-side for a season. Good, because we know about the transition ahead of time, and have enough time to say goodbye, properly. Goodbyes are hard, even and especially when they are indeed good.
By now, most of you have read the message sent out this past Monday about our coming staff transitions (click HERE) and are now “digesting” and processing. I imagine you, like me, may find yourself navigating a sea of thoughts and emotions. Sadness for us, mixed with joy and anticipation for the new experiences that lie ahead for Freda Marie, Rebecca, Barb and Chuan (Retirement! England! Elliott learning to speak with a British accent!). Some of you may be feeling anxious and concerned about so many goodbyes happening, one right after the other. Others, who have been a part of churches and institutions for a long time, may feel less so, having lived through and experienced many iterations and seasons of change before. “The only constant in life is change” was one of the favorite sayings of a mentor of mine, the head of a school in Colorado where we worked together in my twenties; I understand and accept the truth of this saying much more now than I did back then!
During seasons of transition, change and goodbyes, like the one in which we find ourselves — in addition to honoring and tending to feelings of grief, loss and sadness — I also find strength and solace in practicing 3 “habits”:
- Gratitude — Naming and acknowledging all the gifts that have been given and shared …
- Curiosity — Wondering with a genuinely open mind-heart about who and what new people and experiences lie ahead, just around the bend …
- Presence — Being fully present in the Now, getting “out of my head” and fully experiencing each Present Moment as each moment unfolds, breath after breath after breath …
I will be practicing all of the above, in the coming weeks and months, and I invite you to practice them with me!
Even though Easter Sunday was 11 days ago, we are still in Eastertide and the early days of springtime, when all around us we are reminded that Resurrection and new life begin in the dark. And our modern English word “goodbye” originates from the phrase God be with you:
God is with you and with me
in the dark and in the light
in our comings and goings
our endings and beginnings
in our sorrow and joy
in our inbreath and outbreath
in the threshold and on the cliff
in the heartache and heartglow
in the absence and in the presence
in the past, present, future
God be with you and with me
Love,
Cristina