So, I have begun a 100-day retreat with St. Enda, a 13th century monk and founder of Christian monasticism in Ireland with 700+ people over the rest of the world! I must admit, I had never heard of him before, but I am always willing to do anything to deepen my life with the Spirit. The retreat, suggested by my spiritual director, has been amazing and challenging thus far.
The main theme of the retreat is the Four Renunciations of the Christian Spiritual Life. We are asked to renounce: our way of life, the thoughts about our way of life, our self-made thoughts of GOD, and our self-made thoughts of ourselves. The four renunciations were necessary, according to the early Christians, to obey Christ’s command to love each other unconditionally and sacrificially. Yes, the work goes deep, and it is good that I am doing it with a group of friends who gather once a week to share with each other.
I have been particularly fascinated by this thought though: If we are to “love GOD with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength and each other as ourselves” what do we do when we do not love ourselves? How can we possibly love GOD even?
Daddy used to say, “water cannot rise above its own level. What I do not have, I cannot give you and what I do not know I cannot teach you.”
I believe many of us genuinely want to take an active role in the formation of the Beloved Community right where we are; yet we are stymied when the thought turns to how do I show love in a particular situation or with a particular person. I want to suggest that we have to be love before we can show love at all and perhaps the first person with whom we must lovingly be with is ourselves!
So, when did you love yourself unconditionally? When have you stood naked before yourself and GOD in the mirror and said “thank you body…I LOVE YOU” without the usual criticisms of what is wrong or right with your nakedness? Have you ever thanked your feet from taking you from point A to point B? Or your hands for opening doors, and getting you dressed this morning…for feeding you? Have you ever thought to thank your functioning kidneys and bladder? Yes, love and gratitude live in the same house together.
We human beings are in the process of becoming fully human and that process engages us at all levels—spiritual, physical, psychological, and emotional. As we evolve into lovers of ourselves, we become lovers of others, but this is not a self-manufactured love. Remember the song, “Jesus Loves Me?” The a priori love is the love of the Divine Mystery for us. Our receiving and transmitting that love places us in the great cosmic chain of BE-ING of LOVLINESS to come. We are ONE.
“Water cannot rise above its own level” and neither can we love without opening up to receive the love of GOD for us. Listen, learn to rest for a while, let go and let GOD love you!